I am not a poet of the mind

I am not a poet of the mind

To pulverize and peel away

The masks and classify and calcify

And cry hollow words into the infinite abyss

I prefer to feel and intuit and look closely

Then turn away to understand

To speak

Once the things I've sought

Have gone the way of dust and sand

When I was a young man I sought love and found ecstasy

As I grew older I sought love and found work

Now I run away from love and it finds me

I am not a poet of the mind

Love is war

A war I cannot win

Love will kill me in the end

Please treat my bones kindly when you find them

Step lightly around my grave and pray for me

Whosoever has said this war can be won

Has lied

Sisyphus has rolled the stone upwards

And there is no end in sight for him

His task and mine are the same

The difference is

I have learned to kiss the stone as it rolls over me

A smile of pleasure might cross my face

Before the tears trace lachrymal lines

And I rise to climb the path again

I am not a poet of the mind

I wish to speak of parallax and

Comet tails and solar flares and

Cosmic trails and multiverses and

Birth of stars and system disks congealing into

Planetary spheres and all my fears

Reach a fever pitch and I shake from

Hand and neck and breast

To feel alone is worse than to be alone

We are all alone here

From the start

Don’t imagine it can change

It will not

Life’s condition is to be

Always in a lesser state of being

Wishing for a finer state

To taste, to be lost,

And once again to wake

I rage against the dying of the day

Said the poet of the mind

The day is dead

Her words are empty

My heart devoid of love or care

I am the unmarked obelisk

The smooth stone

My prayer is the cosmos turning

Like the monk’s wheel

Or the pilgrims flag

My Self is a memory

A sadness with no bottom

A mummified happiness

A crucified emptiness

The oceans lap against the shore

Night falls and breathes its first and last

I turn to run away from

This prison that has killed me

It is not love or beauty

But necessity

Necessity is the death

Of what is real

I am not a poet of the mind

I grow in spaces weeds were meant to grow

I need no fertile hand to shape me

I seek no dream to wake from

I sing my words to plain blue skies

And weep while heaven holds back its rain

There is a pungent fragrance to this dry garden

Snails, and caterpillars trace and writhe through me

I dream of sweet cataracts

I dream of crushing volumes of rushing rapids

Thundering towards me

Washing me free of my mind

Purifying my loneliness

Erasing my memory

Be gone ignorance

Be gone intolerance

Be gone injustice

Be gone violence

Be gone

I am not a poet of the mind

Bezelhearts

Hearts shake like hands when they meet
Reaching through to grasp
The river of life that pours through
Remnants of Adam's dreams
Flowing from life's beginning
To its end
Love's tumbling cataracts
A routine expedition
Imam Ghazali is there with Chaka
Playing frisbee with the bezels of wisdom
While Attar's Simurgh
Baked in a pie
Poops on the Greeks
Polishing their amphitheater
I hear them beating him
In the paddy wagon
somewhere in Arizona
Shaykh Abar left his old life that day
Cleaned up MLK
With a fistful of turquoise rings
A hickory staff
And the Pole of our age
Not soon after I'm approached
in a repurposed school building in North Elizabeth
By a man who thinks he knows I'm a Sufi
Now I'm out of shape with a paunch
That feels like memory foam
And a heart that has a cheek you kiss at night
Before you sleep
The du'a of protection
"Audhu bi kalimati..."
I seek refuge in the words...
I didn't know
Driving a Camry station wagon
When we all got arrested
All except me
And Willem did yoga
And head stands in the police station
On our way to Chicago
In the rain
While I spoke incessantly of deli cold cuts
waiting for us back in New Jersey
Nole changed my name
To Mario in his poem
My heart then and now
Knew now back then and
Later on that we would meet,
Would meet across the fold of space and time we know as poems
While the bezels fly across the rooftops of our loneliness
How peaceful it is
To be alone and alive, and loved
At last
In the privacy of my very own
home

Child, upon waking at night

Child, you're what's best from your mother and I
Mind of the Earth and heart of the Sky
Dream of the Dreamer and Song of the Golden
Pale of the snow drift, dance of the cold wind

The rush of the wolf pack
A whispering stream
The silence of pine groves
A tangle of mangroves

Gentle and old as the harvest moon
Cruel as the osprey
Proud as the loon
You are midnight's lagoon
                 dressed in mirroring stars

Yes you are, my sweet child
Yes you are

Fall. Wind blows leaves, leaves minds blown.

10-1-11

I am an old sailor now
unencumbered
by the land or sea
I prefer
to dream
For this poverty
of life
Has filled me with hopes
for death
it seems a much gentler destination
for one such as I
accustomed to nature's rages
followed by emptiness
and waste
fertile abundance and famine
television shows
banner ads
and mailboxes devoid of
handwritten words
landlocked or seaswept
at peace with the heart of dreams
I find what was never lost
and lose myself in what can't be found

7-28-11

Change is the condition that can't be changed.
Sameness, normalcy, routine, habit
are illusions we buy into at the
expense of our lives.
Imagine yourself at the center
of an ever blossoming flower
Imagine this present moment is the
sun towards which you turn.
Now abandon these imaginings
what is left is the self
dark, lonely, afraid
the empty shell of the real life
you carry in your breath.
Now breathe

5-11-11

Prime numbers populate the date
Skeletons file out of the closet
where fleshed out by nostalgia they
fill up my daydreams with sighs
and pungent sweat of yesterday.
I dream, I live, I wish, I weave
in and out through traffic lanes
careening towards my Maker with
uncanny precision.  All roads lead
there and here, right now, my
face is still while my ego
kicks and screams flailing against
Death's cold grasp consuming me
cell by cell.  Incredulous, culpable,
sanctimonious, combustible.  I would
call this feeling "punk rock".   Smash
it all to smithereens, cremate it,
pulverize it.  Rise like bread or
birds and dream again.  Without
nostalgia is better.  Now is preferable
to what once was.

2/8/13

Ticking clocks click at each other

Unfriendly at best

At worst

They want me out of this room

And in bed

With the rest of the team

Tsk tsk

Tik tsk tik

Nag nag nag

So devoid of mechanical beauty

Unlike real time

This sound is like sharpening a pencil

With an dull pair of Singer scissors

I want a blanket made of monarch wings

To be wrapped in autumn

To forget this winter sitting on my face

Like a skull

I want tree sap

And summer grass

Or hot cement

And a wet ass

Straight out of the pool

Death to mismatched clocks!

No pleasure comes from imagining your deaths

With mini cocktail swords made in ancient Japan

Was there truth in the love I felt at 16?

This love is different

That was a love of flowers before they fall

This is a love of trees before they grow

But as long as I linger in their shadows

All I feel is the ache of dying

From never having lived

Where do we go when we forget to be who we are?

When will we get the chance to remember

And feel the pleasure in remembering?

When will the birds and bees leave me alone?

Damn you nostalgia filled clickity clocks!

I hate your stupid futility!

After Yemenese Pumpkin Guts

Hurtling at a breakneck clip

Towards extinction

Mankind’s Goodship

20 petaflop processing

Titan, coolly calculated

Unnamable gluons

This 29^th of October

2012,

Monday the Singularity was born

Then died

Glimmering its final blip

Glup glup glup

Into the great unspoken silence

Drop

ping

Fizz rises to the top of

Stillness

A dark shadow rises over us looming

Like mute juggernaut lumberjacks

Dressed in sirens

Or blue whales or

A moth

That’s lost its way

Somewhere between Iceland

And Antarctica

Not obscurantist

Darker

A burlesque sky

A black limp

A seamless light

A whispering bench makes

Sibilant clicks

No one alive

To hold their breath

(exhale)

Waken

To the knife in your back

)inhale(

Fog on the mirror means

Give thanks

10/23/12

pain and pleasure
beauty is the glue that
holds them both together
each is an eye that
only sees part of the picture
together they
reveal all details
pain endures
pleasure fleeting
death in life
and life in death is
breathing

8/15/12

constant callibration
seeking balance
steps, one after another
headed toward a destination
a kind word
an unexpected response
escape into my headphones
par excellence
the dream continues
even when I'm awake
my sincerity seems fake
and these detours that I take
take me back to where I started
whereas the vision I have now is larger
sometimes I feel my batteries drained
and I'm lost without a charger
Youth pass me invincible and nubile
homeless men, recyclables on bicycles
and inside of me my inner child
won't stay dead or keep still
Love won't be denied
I can't hide for long
I stay strong in spite
of the fate that awaits us all
as we calibrate
seeking balance
steps, one after another
heading home

10/11/12

What it means to be decapitated by lunch count

Autumns lawns

Are central valley yellow

Yesterday’s stifling heat

Hoary with frost

Upon a dawn chilled windshield

Route 99 commute

Bobbing head to old wutang

As I enter school

I imagine feudalism

Chain mail, swords, and trebuchets

Pages, vassal lords, and crossbow quarrels

Why are we studying stem and leaf plots today?

Wouldn’t it be nice to smash into a solid line of infantry

With armored horses lances splintering on

Iron half helms and punching holes in

Plated steel

Fourth grade origami folding on Friday afternoon

Is the closest I will ever get to shogun war shrieks and

Arrow fletchery

Custer’s ass is smashed against my boot

Little bighorn shoved in his throat for emphasis

I took away a boy’s recess for lying on his chair

And pretending to fly

What’s wrong with me

When did I become this

Balding medieval vigilante?

Shooting ink stains with Shout

Dreaming of blazoned, heraldic silken tapestries

Draped over mortarless stone masonry

Thrust into place by humping avalanches

The call of muezzins from the minarets

Of vanished citadels overlapping

Concussive spirals of enveloping

Longing for Godliness

When will the white sails billow

And the horizon race toward my face

And the stars stretch into hyperspace

And the trapdoors beneath infinity’s libraries

Open to that final REAL adventure?

The blade’s edge is razor sharp

And I fear

It may have already severed

My head

I will

Wait

Waiting

I wait

Impatiently

For it to

Finally

Fall

off

 

Diem (accusative)

This day was

Just like any other day

This night is

Like any other night

The street lamp light

Weak the way street lamps are

The car, prowling

The way dark cars move and shine

The train horn, tunes

And fades its song distantly

And kittens, black

Flee instantly at the slightest sound

And I am sad, because as I reach for life

It’s already passed

A word’s grasp

Like water on the grass

Nourishing briefly

Flourishing for a heartbeat

Then drying if left untended

In the light of

Day

 

 

 

 

In a Heartbeat

Here it is

What could you possibly expect

After all this time?

In a heartbeat

In a heartbeat

In a heartbeat

In a heartbeat

Let the rhyme flow bide my time let the thoughts collect then spill my mind child of the wild style and homosapien

I begin again to teach unleash the sweet milk of heartbeat and dancing feet isn’t it neat how near we are and how far across the universe we reach to touch each other’s ears and slake each other’s thirst until the river bursts its banks we give thanks to the One who gave us life and gives us death after our last breath is drawn don’t be a pawn, don’t waste your breath

It was inevitable the scribe imbibed the ink and began to think from where did the light in the lamp emanate? questions lead to questions, lead to answers for what purpose does man serve on this earth his birth must have worth, this living earth must have a song of praise to make the days last

My journey snaked through paths and soon I saw the signs that separate the real from the fake and in my nakedness I clothed myself in lies and deceit imagining a fleet footed quarry might escape from the beast but I was meat and nothing more for the cravens and whores that tore my flesh to taste my soul but no more its war I realize now what I could not before the score is not even men are bleeding and dying, women are crying, babies too, children and daughters, sons, and guns blast the past and future meet and pass in a heartbeat

In a heartbeat

In a heartbeat

In a heartbeat

In a heartbeat

Just consider the fact that you won’t consider a grave digger has made the hole where your dreams will linger and the light of day will no longer play its piano fingers in the morning light in that darkness where your bones will lay so what you say you give a chance to your sisters and brothers, fathers and mothers, forgiveness is a witness, hate a sickness, ignorance a business that you buy with your last dime don’t be a fool be cool don’t believe all the lies they told you in school to rule your mind while you buy their time with your blood tears and interest, in this life you’re the guest be at your best never rest never succumb to be depressed and never cheat what can’t be beat

With a heartbeat

In a heartbeat

In a heartbeat

In a heartbeat

I’ll tell you something that you may find hard to swallow, if you follow me I promise B, that you will be the one and only soul soldier, seeker of truth, impregnable as a fortress and bulletproof from the lies and the scheming, wasted time and dreaming will fade away into the new day when you embrace what you fear and look into that part of you that you neglect just to be you.  Don’t be afraid anymore, rich or poor you know the score and what’s more you’ve committed yourself to achieve what your elders and ancestors gave their lives to bequeath you discreet

As a heartbeat

In a heartbeat

In a heartbeat

In a heartbeat

La ilaha ilallah I proclaim upon the hilltops and fanes, forests in flames, temples and plains and I enjoin upon all who would hear this to believe in his claim without a doubt in its witness his name a mouthful of truth the one and only prophet of youth and of old, of mild and of bold, the one who was foretold Sayyidina Muhammad Alayhi Salat wa Salam whose message was alive and replete, concise and as sweet

As a heartbeat

In a heartbeat

In a heartbeat

In a heartbeat

Free free free free free free free free free

As a heartbeat

In a heartbeat

In a heartbeat

In a heartbeat

Character lines

I grew up

And threw up

Grew out

Blew up

Choked up

tapped out

Tucked in

Flaked out

Broke up

And broke out

Baked up

Bugged out

Linked in

locked out

dined out

And locked up

I've held lunch pail

And lynchpin

And no one knows

The skin I'm in

Better than the skin

I'm standing in

the wisdom of parachutes

i once flew so high

banged my head 'gainst the sky

since then i fly low

and keep my eyes on the flow

tear drops from a golden sardine

a mouth unspeaks then
untells what it has unspoken
and the silence
between that and this
is jazz
a ear unhears
hands unclap
lips unkiss
blankets and flags unfold
dream's calligraphy illuminates
a sun explodes
civilizations vanish
old men are born
and children die
while old ladies
waltz invisibly on
and on balconies that never were
until
in a primordial moment
the proverbial atom splits
chaos dies
a single word
echoing through
infinity's golden mellifluence

BE.

Spring 4-16-06

Raise your flowery head
up from the damp earth
stretch your chirping bones
up to the full moon
all the rivers are rushing to meet
your beating heart
all the children of Adam
are waking to your throaty chorus
rain over rain weaves
a carpet of happiness
and the youngest stars
stare over your body with
wonder and amazement
we have thrown back the blanket
of winter's bones
and fumbling for the light switch
have accidentally turned on the sun
What joy!

may 9 2008

We run from our defects
towards your Perfection
covered in the dust of sin
from the situation we've
put ourselves in
squandering our value
heedless of the suffering we cause
enshrouded in the shadows
of self delusion
victims of spiritual diffusion
O Allah transform these flaws
in the mirror of your Prophet's splendor
bless him in accordance to Your Grandeur
and praise him in accordance to Your Measure
and grant us the benefit of Your Pleasure
and reward us from the endlessness of Your Treasures

We run from the despised to your Beloved
we hunger and thirst give us Satisfaction
we are empty shells fill us with Glory!
annihilate our disobedience
sustain us with obedience
pen success in the preface and appendix of our story
and translate the rest
from what is worst to what is best
grant my waking eyes with the mercy reserved for the elect
and reanimate this heart of death
with the undying drink
the unlimited breath
scented with paradise
of creations best
and i will stand
and be fearless